Many couples experience these challenges, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next. That’s where couples therapy can help. Through a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental environment, I can help you and your partner work through your challenges and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

My approach to couples therapy is based on the idea that individual behaviour and experience cannot be understood in isolation but must be viewed within the context of the larger system in which it occurs. This means looking not just at the individual behaviours and emotions of each partner but also understanding how the relationship patterns and dynamics contribute to the issues at hand. I help couples recognize and comprehend these patterns, fostering a secure and non-judgmental environment where they can identify and express their underlying emotions and needs.

In addition, I use attachment theory to help couples identify and understand each partner’s attachment style and how it influences their behaviour in the relationship. Attachment theory provides a framework for understanding how early attachment experiences shape our patterns of relating and how these patterns play out in adult relationships.

One of the primary approaches I often use with couples is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is an evidence-based approach that emphasises the central role of emotions in shaping relationship dynamics. Through this method, couples are guided to explore and articulate their deepest emotions and how these influence their interactions and connections. A key aspect of EFT is identifying the negative cycles that couples often get trapped in, regardless of whether they are arguing about small things like doing the laundry or big issues like having children. These cycles can create distress and conflict, causing partners to feel disconnected and misunderstood. By recognizing these patterns, couples can start to see how their actions and reactions contribute to a negative cycle and begin to break free from it.

In our sessions, we work together to unravel these distressing patterns and replace them with healthier ways of interacting. Couples learn to understand and express their underlying emotional needs and responses more openly and constructively. This process helps to build a deeper emotional connection and fosters a sense of teamwork in the relationship.

By understanding and addressing their underlying attachment needs and dynamics, and by applying techniques from emotionally focused therapy and systemic therapy, couples can work together to create new patterns of relating that are more supportive and secure. This therapeutic approach not only helps in resolving current conflicts but also equips couples with the skills to handle future challenges together, leading to a stronger and more satisfying relationship.